The woman, under the username ScrabbleChamp64, has detailed the shunning in a post to the forum Mumsnet. She has already received more than 330 responses, 329 more than her party managed.
The woman’s fiancé arranged a surprise party and went to a “lot of effort” by decorating their house and buying refreshments, only to see a single pal come through from the guest list.
Newsweek spoke to a relationship expert about the incident. They said: “People grow and priorities change, friendships can come and go.”
The original poster took to the internet on November 6 to talk about her milestone birthday. She said the party started in the middle of the afternoon so those with a long drive could leave earlier.
Her partner set up a gazebo with a heater in their garden as he thought there wouldn’t be enough room for everyone in the living room.
She wrote: “Only one friend who doesn’t live down the road came. I really appreciate her. Nobody else bothered and I am utterly heartbroken.
“How do I even begin to feel better about this? My fiancé wanted me to feel like a princess on my birthday but I can’t stop crying and I feel terrible because he went to so much effort.”
Newsweek spoke to Charlotte Johnson, a U.K.-based relationship expert who specializes in friendships.
She said: “Turning 30 is a huge milestone for some and therefore commonly celebrated by a party with friends and family. A party, of course, needs multiple people to attend, which unfortunately has not been the case here.
“Having a no-show from people who you consider good friends is very disappointing and quite upsetting. There could have been many reasons as to why your friends could not attend, for example, last-minute issues or sickness. However, if you have invited people over to your birthday party because you thought you had a close bond, and they don’t tell you that they can’t make it, then it is likely that they are not replicating the same friendly feelings.
“A friend is someone who you can rely on for support and enjoy being around. However, as life goes by and situations change for everyone, you may find that some friends are busier due to work or family, and some friends just simply drift apart. This is usually due to different interests, morals, and not particularly enjoying each other’s company anymore. This does not mean that there had to be any fallout or disagreement between the friends, simply that they are less compatible now.
“The main thing to remember when feeling low about your friendships is to ask yourself if it is even worth saving by considering if that person brings any positivity or gains into your friendship. For example, if you feel happy around this person, or even relaxed and confident when they are around, then this is worth holding onto and saving the friendship. However, if you feel anxious, upset, or just simply dull around a particular friend, then it might be a good idea to re-think your friendship. If it bothered you that they didn’t show up to your party then it might be time to remove their negative energy from your life and find friends who will show up for you.
“A great way to find closure in disappointing friendships is to appreciate those that are there for you and closest to you and focus on these relationships instead. As people grow and priorities change, friendships can come and go but those who choose to stick around and make an effort at those occasions that mean most to you are those same people who deserve the same back. Adding to this, a sign that a friend doesn’t have genuine intentions in the friendship is someone who likes to put you down and not be supportive of your achievements.”
In 2018, The National Center for Biotechnology Information (NCBI) asked 309 medical students about their birthday celebrations. The results found 90 percent of respondents would prefer to celebrate their birthday with friends. While 12 percent stated they like to spend it alone.
The Mumsnet poster explained that some of her partner’s friends attended, but only one of her long-term friends turned up.
She has expressed her concerns about her wedding, she fears her friends may not show up.
One user wrote: “You poor thing, that’s awful behavior from your friends. I completely understand how terrible you must be feeling right now, I suppose I would say to try to take some comfort in the knowledge that you have a fiancé who clearly loves you very much. I really am so sorry this happened to you.”
“I’m so sorry OP that sounds heartbreaking. Your darling partner sounds amazing though hang onto that as he obviously adores you,” said another.
Another person agreed: “Really sorry, that sucks. People are so flakey these days, it’s got much worse since Covid. People feel they can bail for the flimsiest of reasons. The weather hasn’t been great so I wonder if some were out off by a long drive in the rain? On the bright side, sounds like your partner is a keeper.”
