In a viral post shared by u/Emil536775, she explained that her husband bought the house before they got together and he refers to the two-bed house as “his property”.
Two months ago, she began working from home and started using the other “empty” bedroom as an office. But now, he wants payment, and Redditors are outraged.
Newsweek reached out to Rebecca Jones, a divorce specialist at amicable, a U.K.-based legal service for separating and divorcing couples:
She said: “Arguing over money can be a common contributor to a relationship breakdown. This is also something we are seeing more of during the cost of living crisis. Having conversations about your finances can be daunting for people. However, learning a method that works for you both, which avoids discussions escalating into a full-blown argument, can help keep your marriage healthy by empowering you to address important topics without sweeping them under the carpet to avoid conflict.”
In August, the National Energy Assistance Directors Association revealed that about one in six American families are behind on their utility bills. And it doesn’t look like this will be changing any time soon. Newsweek previously wrote about how energy bills will rise for homes this winter.
However, the cost of living crisis doesn’t seem to be the reason this husband wants a payment.
The Redditor explained everything was going well with the job until her husband sat her down on December 8 to ask for 30 percent “profit” from whatever she earns at work.
He asked for the payment as he “provides” the office for her to work from.
“I was completely caught off guard by this. I asked if he was serious and he went on about it being his home and how he could be using this room for his own purpose since it’s ‘his property’,” she said.
“His mom thinks I’m being difficult and that 30% is not a huge amount and that this room is providing ‘stability’ for my WFH and so my husband should get some sort of benefits,” she added.
How to Have a Conversation About Money
A YouGov poll of 1,000 U.S. adult citizens revealed 32 percent of 18 to 44-year-olds argue about money.
Speaking to Newsweek, Jones provided some tips on how to approach a conversation about money with your spouse.
“With any conversation, it’s important to remember what you can and can’t control. Anything within your power, you can control, such as your actions, behavior, assumptions, and reactions. You can’t control how your partner feels, acts, or reacts,” she said.
“When approaching money topics, think about your behavior and language. Try avoiding inflammatory language, which might elicit a certain response from your partner, and escalate your conversation into an argument. If things get heated, it’s easy to use words that you know will get under your partner’s skin, but think about the bigger picture—is this going to be helpful or unhelpful in getting you to achieve your joint goals?
“It’s useful to separate the emotion from the message when you’re having conversations about money. It can be a sensitive topic, and easy to take what your partner says personally.
“A good tip is to focus on what you need to say and separate what you want to say in response to something you feel is unfair. It might be helpful to write this out before your conversation, so you’re clear on what you want to get across. Remember, less is more. If you feel as though the conversation is escalating into an argument, leave some time to cool off and try again when things are less heated,” she said.
What Do the Comments Say?
Over 3,400 people have commented on the thread that has received 15,300 upvotes since it was posted on December 4.
The top comment, that has received 48,300 upvotes, said: “NTA [not the a******]. Time to immediately stop paying bills and doing all the housework. Move into your office. If he wants to treat you like a tenant, act like one. Do not combine your money with his. Pay him the going rate of [a] tenancy. Start looking for a new place to live because this marriage is over. It’s just a financial agreement to him.”
Another popular comment has received over 14,000 upvotes, it said: “Or keep doing the chores and bill him the same amount he would charge you for the office.”
“NTA You’re his wife, not a tenant. There’s something very controlling about this—it gives me the creeps. What does he need/want the money for? If you save your profits then you can contribute financially if you move to a bigger property. If you give the money to him then you wouldn’t be able to contribute (as much) and he’ll always be able to hold it being his property over you,” commented another user.
Newsweek reached out to u/Emil536775 for comment. We could not verify the details of the case.
Do you have a similar monetary dilemma? Let us know via life@newsweek.com. We can ask experts for advice, and your story could be featured on Newsweek.
